Tips and advice from couples who’re nailing it every day
With the divorce rate mighty high and marriage the butt of every sitcom joke, it’s hard to believe that there are couples out there who are happy, in love and totally enjoying the marriage thing.
But as wedding season hots up, it’s always nice to hear from couples navigating the tricky waters of matrimony and enjoying the trip.
So researchers have asked 2,000 happily married Brits (yes it seems there are that many!) what makes their marriages happy – and they’ve revealed the 50 most important things for marital bliss.
And as well as the Big Things such as trust, sense of humour and honesty, it seems like it really is the little things too – remembering to say ‘I love you’ regularly, always kissing goodnight and holding hands when you’re out and about.
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And time apart also came through as a vital part of happy relationships. Having some different interests and hobbies and knowing when to give each other space were both in the top 25, and regularly having nights out WITHOUT each other made the list too.
But a more jealous undercurrent runs through some of the recommendations, including sharing social media passwords and not being friends with ANY exes on Facebook.
Andy Gibney, author of How to Seduce Your Wife (or Anyone Else’s) said: ”Trust, compromise and honesty are generally regarded as the most important things in a marriage, but for most people, it’s not that simple.
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“In the modern world, marriages are having to survive against a host of new technology with many couple falling out over what to watch on the TV or one or both of you spending too much time focusing on your computers, tablets or mobile phones.”
But however happy your married, protecting yourself first is vital it seems. At number 50, that involves having a stash of secret cash in case of emergencies!
So here is the full list:
1. Trusting each other
2. Same sense of humour
3. Always being honest with each other
4. Remember birthdays and anniversaries
5. Accepting each other’s faults
7. Saying ‘I love you’ regularly
8. Knowing when to say sorry
9. Being able to laugh at each other
10. Having a similar outlook on life
11. Regular hugs/cuddles
12. Always kiss each other goodnight
13. The occasional romantic gesture
14. Considering your partner to be your best friend
15. Sharing the parenting duties
16. Always kiss each other goodbye in the mornings
17. Having some shared hobbies and interests
18. Always talk about a problem rather than bottling it up
19. Ask each other about their day
20. Regular sex
21. Having some different hobbies and interests
22. Knowing when to give each other some space
23. Never going to sleep on an argument
24. Regular holidays/mini breaks
25. Having similar aims and ambitions
26. Having the odd argument or disagreement
27. Continuing to make an effort to look nice for your partner
28. Getting on with each other’s family
29. Setting aside quality time for each other
30. Holding hands when you are out and about
31. Regularly complimenting each other
32. Having your own friends as well as mutual friends
33. Two TVs in the house
34. Getting on with each other’s friends
35. Each having a car
36. Still shaving/grooming
37. Each having equal share of the lie-ins when you have children
38. Separate bank accounts
39. Having regular nights out with friends, without your partner
40. Surprise gifts/presents
41. Not being friends with ANY ex-partners on Facebook
42. A rota to divide up the household chores
43. Regular date nights
44. Two bathrooms/toilets
45. Not having one person hogging the remote control
46. Similar working hours
47. Knowing each other’s passcode for their phone
48. A secret stash of cash they know nothing about
49. Keeping some things private (not going to the toilet in front of each other etc)
50. A night or two a week where neither of you use computers/laptops/phones etc
Do you agree?
50 Rules For A Happy Marriage By Kim Hookem-Smith